Online dating has made it easier to interact with people, but it has also made it easier to be dishonest. There is a murky world of romance frauds hidden behind the pictures, attractive messages, and promises. In addition to stealing money, these scammers destroy victims’ self-esteem, undermine trust, and frequently make them too embarrassed to come forward.
The Emotional Wreckage
Many victims claim that the psychological harm they endure outweighs the monetary loss when they think back on their ordeal. Late-night conversations, shared dreams, and a feeling that someone cared made the romance seem so genuine. And the collapse is catastrophic when it breaks down.
- Betrayal of Trust. Victims frequently feel deceived by someone they thought had genuine concern for them: Any financial loss can be less painful than realizing that kind words and personal assurances were only deception techniques.
- Shame and seclusion. Many are too ashamed to notify their loved ones: They fear criticism for “falling for it.” Loneliness is fostered by that quiet, which hinders healing.
- Mental strain, depression, and anxiety. These thought habits include waking up in the middle of the night, going over each message again, and wondering where everything went wrong. Some people experience a permanent loss of trust in others, a decline in self-worth, and an end to their sleep.
- Research on manipulative relationships and emotional attachment, for example, is expanding and demonstrates how such severe betrayal can resemble trauma and result in long-lasting psychological damage.
Emotional wounds might eventually impact day-to-day functioning, including choices regarding future relationships, trust, social disengagement, or hypervigilance to prevent retaliation.
The Financial Ruin
The financial harm is frequently harsh and tangible, but the emotional harm is imperceptible. A ticket, aircraft fare, visa, or paperwork expense are examples of “small asks” that scammers start with, but they gradually increase demands until victims are funneling thousands, tens of thousands, or more.
- Depleting savings and accruing debt. Some victims take out personal loans or max up credit cards, while others deplete their nest funds. A con artist may use a series of fabricated “emergencies” to put them under constant strain.
- Long-term effects on plans and credit. Emergency reserves, college funds, and retirement assets might all be lost. Rebuilding stability, controlling debt, and repairing credit can take years to complete.
- Strained Relationships: Online scams contributed to a record $16.6 billion in U.S. losses in 2024, with romance scams accounting for a significant share of that damage. According to data from the FTC, in the first nine months of 2024, over 42,399 romance scam reports were filed, with $823 million claimed losses. Families and close people are sometimes dragged in pressured for co-signing, emotional stress, or even blame. Some victims feel they have betrayed loved ones by exposing their financial vulnerability.
- As a sign of growing complexity and aggression, Barclays said that romance scam reports increased by 20% in the first quarter of 2025 when compared to the same period in 2024. The unreported cases are not included in these numbers since many victims choose not to disclose because they are ashamed or unsure. The actual financial cost is therefore most likely far greater.
Why Victims Stay Silent
A common reaction to being scammed is to remain silent, yet this is also one of the things that allows romantic fraud to persist. A number of strong factors work together to discourage victims from speaking forward. Knowing them enables us to see why many choose to remain silent.
Shame, Embarrassment and Self-Blame
Shame is one of the biggest obstacles to speaking up. Because they trusted someone who turned out to be a scammer, many victims feel ashamed and humiliated. They battle with ideas like “How could I have been so gullible?” and “I should’ve known better.” Even close friends find it difficult to acknowledge what happened because of these heavy emotions.
According to a Lloyds Bank survey, even though they had lost money, 23% of fraud victims did not even consider themselves victims. This misunderstanding frequently stems from shame: acknowledging a negative event in public feels like acknowledging a personal failure.
Fear of Judgment and Social Consequences
Many victims fear that they will be negatively judged by friends, family, or authorities. They are afraid of being called stupid or naive. The betrayal feels more intimate because romance scams are so personal, making it riskier to disclose in terms of one’s social standing.
This is a legitimate fear. The culture surrounding fraud frequently suggests that victims should have anticipated it or took the risk. According to surveys (like those conducted by AARP), there is a clear trend: a significant portion of respondents hold victims partially responsible. The victim feels more alone as a result of that mindset, which also deters them from speaking up.
Psychological Distance & Trauma
The realization of being deceived over an extended length of time weeks or months of emotional investment can cause the betrayal to feel like a broken reality. Because it is too difficult to completely acknowledge the harm, victims may choose to minimize it or go into denial.
Numerous victims of fraud have signs of worry, despair, insomnia, and even post-traumatic stress disorder after the incident, according to research on their mental health. Since of the emotional discomfort, victims may be deterred from reporting since they don’t want to relive the trauma by restarting the conversation or reviewing what they missed.
Belief That Reporting Won’t Matter
Another common reason for silence is the belief that no one will help even if they do speak out. Victims often perceive institutions—police, banks, platforms—as slow, uninterested, or powerless. If past reports (by others) seem to have led to little action, victims feel discouraged.
Also, some victims think that the amount lost is too small to justify the effort of reporting. Conversely, they may believe that if the loss is big, it’s their own fault and it will attract blame rather than assistance.
Cultural and Demographic Barriers
Being fooled, particularly sexually or emotionally, carries distinct stigmas depending on one’s cultural background. For instance, older people frequently experience pressure to uphold their dignity, prevent embarrassment in front of relatives, and refrain from owning up to their mistakes. Even when the lies are complex, many people believe they have “no excuse” for falling for blatant lies.
According to Lloyds Bank, individuals over the age of 55 are among those who are increasingly targeted, yet many of them are also less likely to report.
Practical Barriers and Lack of Awareness
Not all victims experience guilt; sometimes they are unaware that what happened is a crime or deserving of attention, or they are unsure of where to report it. Additionally, they might not have access to assistance or understand what fraud is.
It’s not often known that “romance fraud” is a recognized crime. They may believe they are alone or that nobody will comprehend. Awareness-raising efforts are therefore essential.
Data That Illustrates the Silence
- According to a Lloyds survey, allegations of romance scams increased by 30% in a single year, although many victims continue to experience emotional difficulties years later.
- 60% of fraud victims experienced mental health problems following the scam, according to research by StaySafe (Stop! Think Fraud); anxiety, despair, and loss of trust are still prevalent.
- According to a survey, almost 50% of participants said they were embarrassed by romance scams, and many of them chose not to report the crime as a result.
The Part CyberTracer Plays
Even though the future may seem unclear, groups like CyberTracer provide guidance and support.
- Tracking down stolen money: The team at CyberTracer is an expert at following financial movements, keeping an eye on areas where money might still be intercepted, and seeing possible avenues for partial mitigation.
- Directing official reporting: Many victims are unsure about how to provide proof or where to report fraud. TrustBull assists in navigating those procedures to prevent the dismissal of your case.
- Support for Education and Emotion: Deception is very intimate. CyberTracer helps victims regain their confidence, recognize warning signs, and stop similar attacks in the future by fusing technological know-how with compassion.
- Tools for prevention and awareness: More people avoid falling into scams thanks to their resources, which assist victims and potential users in identifying scams earlier.
An Appeal for Action
Take the following actions if you or someone you know thinks they have fallen victim to a romance scam:
- Cut off all communication right away.
- Keep all of your communications, profiles, transaction history, and screenshots safe.
- Notify fraud agencies, your bank, or the local police.
- Contact CyberTracer for knowledgeable advice and assistance.
You should not be confused; you should be clear. You deserve to be rebuilt, not constantly afraid. You can also regain control over your finances, emotions, and personal life with assistance.
